Thu, 19 May 2005

Apollo, Scrytch and Me
[originally published as “space ghost” in issue #1 of Pica (sept., 1995)]

Michael “Mitch” Collins was the Apollo XI astronaut who did not walk on the moon. This is his legacy. Sometimes his wife, who will be leaving him in four months, finds him curled fetally in a crawlspace between their bedroom and their bathroom, mumbling escape trajectories into nothing.

While Neil Armstrong (one syllable then two syllables, semantic symbol of strength and courage, to be echoed in his last name) was memorizing his “One small step for man…” line, the line chosen by NASA over his previous selections from the list (“One small step for man, one giant leap for Neil, bay-bee!”, “Wow! The moon is really…empty!”, “Enough with the idle chit-chat! let’s play some golf!”); and Edwin “Buzz” Aldrin (following Armstrong’s one-two approach while adding a down-home [irony intended] approach with the nickname)was doing final navigation checks, Mitch (who only changed his name while on board, by which point is was too late, considering he has, in essence, been lost to history), mixed the Tang and waited for his chance, which was never to arrive due to the scrubbing of the Apollo program six missions from then. Later, after both Neil and Buzz were back on board, their shared experience led to Mitch being seen as an outsider and potential threat-the two officially created the “Moon Man Club” while en route to the planet, creating secret handshakes and code phrases (Michael was to forever be referred to the two as “Michael Michael Tricycle”) while Collins stewed. It was not long before the workaday Joes at Houston, rushing on the giddy excitement of being part of something greater than they would ever again know, followed suit. Immediately upon hearing of the scrubbing of the Apollo project Michael left NASA to pursue a career in children’s entertainment, which led to his becoming Astro-Man (one of the few “hero figures” in history to not have a sidekick: potential costar Butch “Eddie Munster” Patrick refused to work with Collins, citing his agoraphobia and neurotic Shatner-esque upstaging) in a Miami children’s show of the same name, which ran for two episodes.

Sometimes, when he sleeps, Michael reaches out for controls which are not there.

Both Armstrong and Aldrin have long since placed restraining orders upon Michael due to his screaming their names and trying to in some way touch them during book- signings and school visits (Armstrong refuses to discuss any of the events of the Apollo XI flight and grows silent at the mention of Collins; Aldrin simply states “Well, three of us went up, and only two of us came back..”). Michael blames these episodes on the various lysergics and doses of ketamine he was administered during training.

Nineteen months ago, Michael found himself psychically unable to walk through doors.

His sense of time is gone.

One wonders if, perhaps, the Michael “Mitch” Collins who stepped on board the Apollo XI spacecraft is the same one who stepped off it.
(12:05.05.19.2005) [/alpha] #