Thu, 19 May 2005

The Magnifying Suit
DO NOT WEAR MAGNIFYING SUIT DURING ECLIPSES OR DURING PEAK DAYLIGHT HOURS AS YOU WILL COMBUST said the tag on the outside of the big-ass box sitting on the front porch, and like any such temptation to danger, Fast Eddie Satan couldn’t help but to sneak down out of his expartiate home in the Skyfish Treehouse and peek into the box’s contents. After being dropped a few times down the steps Ed discovered a tear in the box’s bottom, and not wanting the contents to get wet or infested with fire ants he decided it best to open it and keep it safe from harm. Having kept a low profile ever since being sprung from Catholic school and concluding the County Tour with the unfortunate show at Mark Clarise’s funeral, Ed had been itching to do something morally questionable, and with the contents of the box being like a giant permission slip to wronghood, it was as though he didn’t have a choice; this was something he had to do. He kicked his clothes up from the porch and through the window of the treehouse, climbing into the Magnifying Suit and limbering up to flee from authority figures when the parental Skyfishes arrived home from their jobs somewhere out in teh Industrial Grid to find filthy grubby Ed Satan wearing nothing but a giant pair of magnifying glasses like poster-signs. This officially closed any potential for his remainign at the Skyfish home, sending him out to the streets, and all streets lead to me (give me a map and I’ll prove it), which means Ed’s now living in my trunk. Which is why I can’t help you move your piano tonight.
(12:07.05.19.2005) [/alpha/edsatan] #