Thu, 19 May 2005

Owen And Rissa Clock Motherfuckers In The Head, Five
“So you ingrates probably don’t know it, and will probably never know it, but we saved the world.”

“And you weren’t even paying attention! Can you even fathom the ammount of hair-raising calamities we faced and conquered like a playground game of dodgeball!”

“Yes suh, while you were fixing a microwave burrito or talking to your mom on the phone we were insuring the safety of you and everyone you know for the remainder of the century, at least!”

“And how did we do it, Rissa?”

“Oh, you know how we do it.”

“We do it —”

“—by clocking motherfuckers in the head is how we do it!”

“That’s right, Earth, go on with your little lives and melodramas, we *allow* you to snuggle in the dryer-toasty comfort of nonchalance and self-importance, luxuries you can revel in because we made it so!”

“All of human history owes its continued existence to us!”

“And what do we ask these clowns for in return?”

“Not a god-damn thing. Their gratitude would sully our victory.”

“Besides which, we’ve still got work to do here. Every good saving of the world deserves a party to match, and you *know* we’re gonna fufil that end of the bargain, just as soon as somebody can come spring us from the pokey.”

“As my man Fidel said, history will absolve us. The US Government, on the other hand, has no vision or appreciation. The screws.”

“I regret nothing! I am not resisting arrest!”

“Eh, forget this. You make a bomb out of the toilet and some chalk and I’ll rig us a hanglider from the sheets. Punk as Houdini.”
(12:10.05.19.2005) [/alpha/owenrissa] #