Thu, 19 May 2005

Owen: Saints
On Sundays, after confession, Owen would receive a Saint Card, which was something like a baseball card with a portrait of a given saint on the front and information on the saint’s life (including a list of relevant Biblical verses) on the back. While this was generally seen as a smart way to use a child’s compulsion to collecting as a means of both assuaging fears about confession and strengthening Sunday School lessons, Owen and his friends generally collected these cards in order to play extensive games of Saint Fight, where two children would put their cards head-to-head and determine (with a third child as moderator) which Saint would persevere in combat. On some weekends there was a theme, during which time a particular situation (such as if it was that saint’s feast day, or if the battle was set in town, where masters of disguise like Hildegund could pull a sneak attack, or in a forrest, where a goofball like Simeon the Stylite could sit atop a tall oak and wait out any opponents) would affect the outcome of the fight. Owen had a secret weapon in the form of a stash of older-edition saint cards handed down from his sister Rissa, including a Saint Christopher card from 1965, four years prior to his removal from the Roman Catholic hagiography. While considered both rare and impressive by his friends, Brent declared the card void and unusable in play. This pissed Owen off to no end, as Christopher was not only his secret weapon and the core of his deck, he was also a general badass as saints go, bested only by hired killers like John of God and little crippled builder of hiding places Nicholas Owen (a card which our Owen always regretted not finding), whose powers could easily wipe out lesser saints with ease. Brent and Darin refused to play so long as Saint Christopher was allowed, which they felt was both blasphemous and corrosive to the inner logic of the game; were any schmoe allowed within the arena the saints wouldn’t stand a chance, and as such, the designation of sainthood as overseen by the papacy was critical. Owen picked up his cards and walked away. Years later, over Christmas at their parent’s house, Owen and Rissa sat up drinking a sugary holiday sherry and playing Saint Fight, all cards legal, which pleased Owen until Rissa brought out a pack of Tibetan devata cards, including Kali as Lha-mo, who ran rampant over Boniface of Mainz and Shenouda the Archimandrite, Philomena and, yes, Saint Christopher. A rematch is currently pending.
(12:10.05.19.2005) [/alpha/owenrissa] #