artificial memory: june 1988
“No, he would…right! That’s what I’m saying! It’s like he, like he
doesn’t know, and I mean *I* don’t know but that doesn’t mean I’m just
gonna sit in my room and wait, I mean, nobody fucking knows, so why
don’t we just go out and get it on?”
[deleted]
“Yeah, but that’s, that’s fucking ridiculous. I mean, I look back at the
destruction I’ve left in my wake, and that’s no small amount of
destruction, and but how could I have moved anywhere and not made some
sort of impact. And yeah, people get hurt, but for fuck’s sake, why
should safety be our guiding concern? What do we learn from being safe?
How do we ever change if we are constantly safe? And how is that even
logical as, as a place to go from, go out from in a relationship?”
[reply deleted]
“But that’s the thing, I’m responsible, I’m completely responsible, and
I have to work out from that, I’m not denying anything, I’m not, y’know,
anyone else’s fault, I’m just saying if I have to choose between fucking
up and then fixing what I fucked up or else never doing anything at all,
I’m gonna fuck up every single time, because”
[remainder of conversation taped over with the album Darklands by The
Jesus and Mary Chain]
(12:12.05.19.2005) [/ana] #