Thu, 19 May 2005

five things you may not know about me
(passing the mic from my friend gmoryx)

  1. In the summer of 1995, while high, I helped my friend Cowboy James sell twelve handguns and two shotguns in a parking lot after an AA meeting in Iowa City. James had me hold onto his guns after he got his felony, which sat in my closet for a month, until he needed to get money together to skip bail and go to Missouri to marry his girlfriend. I made fifty dollars, which I spent on drugs from a friend in Quadrangle dormitory, and that was the last time I saw Cowboy James.
  2. Most people know that I have performed two weddings and one exorcism, but not everybody knows I participated in an Order of the Eastern Star induction rite.
  3. I once went without speaking for three months.
  4. I spent most of my high school years skateboarding and was actually not bad (which is surprising if you’ve seen me lately) until I sprained my knee and got out of it and never picked it back up after I went off to college.
  5. “Ana Skyfish” is not a real person, but an imagined character, utilized here in order to avoid talking about myself (my life is very boring). There are reasons. There are always reasons. Something comes up and I say it’s out of my control. A process already in motion has made it impossible for me to accomplish my desired goal. What can I do but shrug my shoulders and add amusing details so that this latest bit of failure can polish up into self-deprecating amusement. Of course, I set responsibilities at cross purposes as a way of avoiding responsibility, and in doing so I avoid any sort of long-term relationship (of any nature), as ongoing witnesses hamper my ability to lie effectively. Any challenge to my minor intellect, little more than a box of titles and authors chained together in a miserable mockery of actual comprehension, will send me into fits of indignation, running home to scribble imagined threats cast by my stable of regular characters. Accomplishments seem nothing more than obligations, and apologies are simpler, as I have spent the whole sleepless night designing them, perfecting them. I take pride in my faults, considering such logical ideas as health and agreement and basic human kindness as herd mentality claptrap, petulantly pleased to be sick and fat and afraid. I am obvious when I think I am hid, and cower in plain sight behind my next big project.

(ljcomments)
(12:13.05.19.2005) [/ana] #