Thu, 19 May 2005

every day you get a little whiter
Like most post offices, my post office has insane people handing out their xeroxed newsletters about the masons and the zionists and the aliens, and by and large these people confirm what Duane once told me, that insanity is unendurably boring and tedious, but then every once in a while turns up a gem. “Ma’am,” he says (and I must here admit to having a weird affinity for being called ma’am, which at least hints at the possibility of a civil conversation), he says “Ma’am, do you want to live forever?” “No!” I said, genuinely unhappy with the idea of eternal live. “Good! You’re one of the smart ones! It pays on you to be alive forever, but no one looks at that end of it!” “Pays like vampires?” “That’s what those people think, but they’re wrong! It makes you like retarded, only more so, you can’t take care of yourself, you stop being like a real person, and every day you get a little whiter. It’s hell! We did that to my brother and it’s horrible, they told me it would take him a few days to get used to being alive again but he never did! He just sits in the basement and drools on himself and watches the television!” “Isn’t that what most people do?” “Yes, I think that’s part of it, but maybe not, that part I don’t know about, but here, take my newsletter and just, I mean, just be careful, okay? Be careful when people ask you about being alive forever.” He then walked off nervously, across the street, where he started talking to a couple at the bus station. I read some of the newsletter while waiting in line to mail off mix cds, and it’s obvious the guy I talked to didn’t do much of the writing, but the basic message was the same: don’t agree to eternal life, it’s a scam. I may do some research later; will update as needed.
(12:14.05.19.2005) [/ana] #