Thu, 19 May 2005

cease
My uncle was always cowardly. My dad used to tell a story about the two of them, back when they lived on the farm, and they went camping out by the train tracks, and my dad told my uncle this story about the ghost train, and how at night it takes souls to hell, and sometimes if someone is standing by the tracks a soul can pull that person on the train in exchange and so go free, and my uncle ran back to the house screaming his fool head off. I thought that was pretty funny.

It had been about a year, maybe just short of a year now that I think about it, since Jeb died, and he was okay about it, I mean you could tell he was still shook but he was back at work and taking care of things. But then I guess he had to be, because his wife Paula, she was a wreck, she slept in his room some night and like that, and she wasn’t going out hardly at all, and she kept going over his things all the time. So my uncle — his name is Jeff, I guess I should call him that, I’m not being real clear. Right. So Jeff called me and said that he and Paula were going to Toronto for a week and I said well that sounds nice. And he said maybe I could watch the house, and I said that’s fine. And then he hemmed and hawed for a while and eventually I found out what he wanted was maybe my brother and I could remove all of Jeb’s things from the house while they were gone because maybe that would help Paula out.

Now I should say at this point that Jeb was right around the same age as my brother and I. My brother Chris, he’s four years younger than me, and Jeb was two years younger than me, and since he didn’t have any brothers or sisters we sometimes would bring him along when we did things, especially during the summer, I mean, he was a good kid, we liked him a lot. It was pretty weird when we heard. I mean it’s still weird. So I was at first all like oh I don’t know if I can do that or if that’s even a good idea. Jeff said okay he understood, don’t worry about it, and he kinda just faded off the phone, and it was quiet like I should hang up, but I waited because I didn’t know what to do but eventually I just hung up. You know? I mean so anyways I went over that Friday and talked to Jeff about taking care of the house and what I should do, and so he walked me around even though I knew all about the house and basically there wasn’t anything to do. He said to, you know, to take in the mail and check the messages and basically hang out a little so that nobody would rob the place, which is ridiculous because I don’t think any of the houses up there have been robbed in like twenty years and there’s no way I’d do anything, I mean, right, somebody comes in with a gun and I’d be all “Here’s the keys, sir!”. So we were upstairs, and he asked again, and we were right next to Jeb’s room and again I was like I don’t know if I can do that. And Jeff said okay, well, I can’t make you do it but if you want to there’s boxes in the garage. So I said well what are you gonna tell her because you can’t say that Chris and I took the stuff, that would be messed up, and he said no no he’d think of something. I said well what something, because I need to know that you have a plan before I even consider this. So he said I’ll tell her that I got rid of it, I’ll just put my foot down, I mean I can put my foot down when I want. And he smiled, and gave me a twenty, and I said well I’ll think about it.

The weekend I was busy and just ducked in and out but then Monday night I was feeling all lazy and didn’t want to do dishes so I figured I’d have dinner over at Jeff and Paula’s house. So I got a steak and cooked it out on their grill and sat on the back porch eating my steak and drinking beer. And I thought about it and thought about it. And I thought okay, I’ll just go up to the room and look around and go from there. Jeb was a junior in high school last year, and all his stuff was still there just like it was, but there was a box on his desk, this good-sized cardboard box, and I opened it up and there were all these cards people had sent and that kids he went to school with had sent and the track team had this picture of where they put up this banner with his name on it in the gym. I saw the card I sent, which my girlfriend at the time reminded me to get and even picked out; I wouldn’t have remembered it except that it was still in the envelope and it was her handwriting (both our names, I think in a weird way she was, not excited, but like it was an official thing, and she came with me to the funeral and it was like we were a couple, only not much really because we were done two months later). Maybe I was a little buzzed because I remember thinking I didn’t even really send a card, who am I, that was fucked up. And then the next thing you know I’m calling Chris and telling him to come over, we’re gonna pack up Jeb’s stuff.

We had filled five boxes when Chris asked where were we gonna put this stuff. I mean it’s not like we can just leave it in the garage, and what if they want it back? So I figured I’d rent one of those garage-things out by the airport and then he can pay for it or move it or whatever. Chris has a pickup, and really there wasn’t that much stuff, so we managed to fit it all in the back and make it in one trip, so that when we came back the room was, it was just the bed and the dresser with nothing in it. I’m not gonna move that bed, forget that, I’m not even sure we could get it out of the room. Good enough, Chris said, and I agreed, and so by eleven we were finished. I didn’t spend much time there the rest of the week.

Jeff and Paula came back that Friday, and apparently they had an okay time, but it’s hard to tell with them because Jeff never wants to complain and Paula anymore is she just doesn’t really want to spend any more time talking then she has to. Only all that just went right out the window when she saw the room, oh man she hit the roof, and so she just tears into him and all that stuff about putting his foot down, I mean I never really thought he’d do that but not only that, right, he makes up this crazy story about how it must have been robbers. Like robbers are just gonna steal one room and the room with nothing even of any value in it. I mean not without value to them but like to sell. And she believes it, because she’s still convinced that when Jeb died it was like some kinda plot because how else could it make sense, right, so it makes sense that just to twist the knife somebody broke in and stole everything. So she calls the cops. And then the cops call me, because I mean I was watching the house, right? So I say can I speak to Jeff please and the cop says well what do you have to tell Jeff and I say listen, I just need to ask him something and the cop says well if you have something to say then you should tell me, and I said Oh okay fine and I tell the cop I moved the stuff out and oh Christ, so then the cops show up, and I say Jeff, okay Jeff, would you please explain to the cops what happened, you asked me to move the stuff, here’s the key to the rental thing, just fucking stop it already.

So eventually he explains to the cops and Paula freaked out again, and eventually she left him. Jeff moved to Indiana and I don’t know what he’s doing now. Yesteday I was cleaning out my car and I found the key to the rental space, which I had forgotten about and hadn’t paid for, and I drove out to the rental place, but the rental space was empty.
(12:23.05.19.2005) [/scrytch] #