Thu, 19 May 2005

more dread, terror
Every time someone prays for you, a satellite records it onto half-inch tape. When you get to heaven, that tape is unspooled, and it is measured against a tree. If your tape is long enough, you are allowed to enter heaven. You then have your stomach pumped, as it is not permissable to carry material from the earth-world into heaven, and all the hair on your body is removed by swarms of unbaptized children. The gland in your neck which controls the fear impulse is also removed, which you can keep if you like. A series of statues demonstrates the internal process by which your gastric system seals itself up and is dissolved into the bloodstream. A walking person shows you photographs of yourself with all your different outfits, and you are asked to choose which looked the best, and that is what you wear for the remainder of eternity. A crawling person will open your fontanelle and pull what looks like a cord of clotted meat from your skull: this is your memories, and as the material leaves, you may have flashes of things which happened back on the earth-world, but soon they will be gone, and you will feel something akin to ephedrine and air conditioning. You will be given a heaven-name, which is simply a formality, and then the kingdom will open unto you, and you will step inside.
(12:24.05.19.2005) [/scrytch] #