sour days
He rose from the bed, but never really awoke throughout the whole of
the day. As if he was sick with some obscure flu variant, as if he had
spent days watching the perimeter for muzzle fire, he made it through
the
day on autopilot, praying for the slight lizard comforts of a warm air
vent to stand near at work, or a corner away from the flourescent glare in
the supermarket. He was forced to repeat almost all of the day’s minor
trials; three minutes after brushing his teeth that morning, he realized
he had not brushed behind his lower front teeth, just as he forgot to use
shampoo during his first shower. He barely registered seeing a woman he
went to high school with sitting in the cafeteria, and could not bring
himself to care about her repeated attempts to catch his eye. Driving
home, he took the third off-ramp instead of the fourth and ended up in a
neighborhood he only recognized after pulling onto a street where a buddy
of his lived, until he left town and moved back in with his parents. He
fell asleep on the weather channel after a half-hearted and unsuccessful
attempt at masturbating to his favorite meterologist, and slept for twelve
minutes, until midnight, when as was the case every night for as long as
he could remember the devil began reading the endless litany of his crimes
against himself, against humanity, and against God. He would occasionally
seek council with the devil, or else argue the crime in question as not
being relevant, but the list of crimes had long passed the valid and even
the trivial and had now become gibberish, trespasses at specific points in
celestial space-time, false slander against characters from novels he
semi-read in college, harboring diseases. He would try to sleep, but the
voice scraped along his nerves, admonishing him for failure to appreciate
the severity of the charges against him, the hot stink of apple-rot and
shit fililng the air as the devil spoke. On this night, however, the devil
read the last of the charges (breath-smuggling) and informed him that now
notified of his charges, he could either plead guilty, in which case he
would be punished upon death, or he coudl plead erasure, in which case the
specific events of his transgressions would be erased from history
entirely, as would his memories of said events, and any memories held by
the living or the dead. He pleaded erasure, and immediately fell asleep
for three full days, and when he awoke, he could remember absolutely
nothing.
(12:25.05.19.2005) [/scrytch] #